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There are a number of options within BDSM Passions to help connect members, including the following: BDSM ‘Groups’ allow members to find others who share very specific interests / similarities.
Use the personals to find a mistress, a submissive, a unicorn or a couple.
Instead of using different sites with different features (fetlife, alt.com, collarspace etc.) VU has all in one and is mobile: Community, Dating and Forum.
It seems inappropriate to post that on normal dating sites.
The biggest fetish/BDSM community, fetlife, isn't a dating site and there is not a search engine designed to find matches. I'm young, fit, everything good, but I don't know where to advertise myself where my type of women will see me.
Try Collarspace.com, large dating site, and Fetlife.com, the latter will give you information about local events as well , amongst other things.